1984 - 2009

It has been a month I didn’t updates my blog.

First, I have too many things on my mind but didn’t know what to write.

Secondly, I have many things to tell but didn’t know how to start. It’s all about my sister.

She gone for almost 2 weeks and I still miss her very much, I miss her sms, I miss her scolding, I miss her everything. I have a lot of thing to share with her, to tell her, to discuss with her and to fight with her. But all these are too late, when she is around, you don’t care much, you don’t talk much and you keep on fighting. It’s all too late now!! Not matter how hard you cry, how much you miss her, she won’t alive.

My youngest sister first diagnosed with cancer is at the age of 9+ and had her first operation in 1995 follow by chemo than relapse again in 2000 and her last operation was in 2006. Dr mentioned that there are no other options because there are multiple nodules (lumps of cancer cells) which are growing and which cannot be surgically removed anymore.

We tried many methods from Chinese sinseh to Indian Sifu for her to get heal. Whoever told us this sinseh good treated many cancer patients we tried until my sister getting tired of trying all the medicine.

Then she become very ill and admitted to hospital as she was collapse at home. I then rush home with hubby when mom’s called me as her hubby was at outstation that time. The moment I look at her seeing her unconscious look my tears start to drop non-stop. I keep on calling her name, check on her heartbeat.. her breath and she still alive, then I told hubby to quickly sent her to hospital. She was admitted to hospital on 26 May 2009 and never come home since then. Mom and my BIL takes turn to take care of her day and night and I travel to hospital everyday to see her. Day by day passed, she become weaker and weaker, Dr told us to prepare ourselves, get all her friends and relatives to visit her and get her son to accompany her everyday. The most regretted I was, the night before she decided to leave us. I am supposed to stay back at the hospital with my mom, BIL and aunt to take care of her but I did not coz I go home.

She finally passed on peacefully 21 Jun 2009 @ 9am in hospital leaving behind her beloved husband, Allan and son, Brandon. Her wake service was at Xiao En Centre and cremation at Nirvana Memorial Park.

I found blood stain...........

I finally send my TAI KAR CHEY (Big Sister) back to agent as I really can’t take it anymore. I’m trying to close one eye on her work she does, the black face she shown me, the ‘sigh’ sound I heard every time I asked her to do work and many more.

Today she sounded unsatisfactory when my MIL asked her to clean the floor where my kids dirty it when they eat and told MIL that she will clean it when she mop the floor. Then she talk to MIL at very high tone saying that she does not want to work anymore, so MIL called me and told me what happened. Immediately I called agent and him to bring her back else I do not know what will happen to her when I back home. Coz I cannot tahan anymore.

Later when I back in-law house I checked on her small bag that she brought to in-law house for shower and I found my house key, this house key was kept at in-law house. I really don’t know how long she kept this house key, did she pass to anyone to duplicate it or she is planning to runaway from in-law house and back to my house to get her stuff.

When I back home I quickly when to her room and dig her stuff, I can’t any of the thing that I lost which is money and watches. But I found something... blood stain in her diary and wrote “I LOVE YOU” and “LAS (her name) LOVE WWN (I think is her bf)” with her blood. Geli or not…. I can’t imagine further and I told hubby that we are lucky we are still alive here. Don’t whether she did put any of her blood in our drinking water or whatever la. Immediately I change all the drinking water, throw away the opened milk powder, throw away the knife (dunno whether she got use our knife to get the blood) and also scissors. Now, I remember why her hand and finger always on plaster. Yucckkkk!!! Don’t want to think further make me even sick.

I am so… so… so… relieve now, coz she is not here anymore, I want to live happily ever after, will update the pix of her blood stain tomorrow.

Photo updates:

Sebastian teaching Sidney

Seeing impatience Sebastian teaching Sidney... so funny! Hubby said just like mummy... so impatience when teaching. LOL!!

Scratches on her face

It’s almost come to half a year that Sidney went to kindergarten. Her teacher commented that Sidney is very quite, never talk at all for the first few months, even going to toilet that is why she pees several times in the classroom.

Yesterday, I got a call from in-law saying that Sidney’s face got scratches, then late evening followed by a call from Sidney’s class teacher. She apologies for what happen to Sidney’s face and told me that this small little boy playing with Sidney and accidentally scratched her face. She said she did not realize it until she going to have reading with Sidney coz Sidney did not cry at all. I thought there were an assistant but how come the assistant did realize at all. Hhmmmm…..

Upon reaching home, I looked at Sidney’s face and the scratches quite bad tough. So, this morning I went to see her teacher and have a word with her, telling her to be more alert in the classroom.



Beside, I’m also asking how is Sidney performance so far. She said Sidney improved a lot from the day she steps in but still she does not talk. She only talks to the teacher when she wants to go toilet and reading time or singing. Other than that she will just keep quite and do whatever teacher is teaching her except she does not like go swimming and gym class. She will just stood there and watch. But at home she is talk but not very talkative and asks question too. It may due to languages we spoke at home ie. Mandarin and school they speak English. Hope to see a better results on her this year end.

From Sebastian

This lovely card was from Sebastian, thanks my dear son!

Awesome Mom

This weekend most of the restaurants will be fill-up due to Mother's Day celebration and am one of them celebrating with in-laws. Mom told us not to pack with others, so we will bring her out next week somewhere we could sit and chat happily.

This poem I browse thru web and would like to dedicate to all mummy and have a great celebration ahead!!

A mother's love
Is always true
It's all you need
To get you through

A mother's love
Can seem like hate
She's only tough
To keep you safe

A mother's love
Is always there
In simple ways
She'll show she cares

A mother's love
Can never compare
With anyone else's
Anywhere

A mother's love
Is here to stay
I love you, mom
Happy Mother's Day!

It's MY DAY.....

Today, it’s my day… the day I was born 33yrs ago. I remembered my mom jokingly told me that I should celebrate for her instead of me during my birthday coz that time she is at hospital struggling to get me out to this world. LOL!!! Thanks.. mummy!!

So, today I got lots of wishes from sms, FB, email, phone…. whatever communication that can get whole of me.. thanks everyone for your wishes!

I had a good lunch with my colleagues but I have to paid myself as they will only celebrate with me when my boss back on Thursday, late better than nothing, rite!! Hehehe… And I got a bouquet of flower from hubby, thanks hub!!

Just now, I happily go dinner with hubby, ya... only two of us without two monsters around, peaceful dinner huh! And happily hubby drove to the hotel for our dinner; I find something amiss but just walk hand in hand with hubby to the restaurant. The waitress shows us our seat we reserved earlier, upon seating, the waitress asking for the membership card to enjoy the 50% discount. I grab my handbag and look for my wallet…. OH SH*T!!!! My wallet missing, so I asked the waitress whether we still can enjoy the discount without the membership card, no.. no way coz it’s the procedure that I have to show them. Luckily the monorails station just a stone away from the hotel and I told hubby I will take monorail to office to checkout my wallet. Haizz.. what a forgetful wife that hubby had and really lucky that hubby don’t have to send me back to the office at this peak hour where the road pile up with cars. LOL!!

15mins later I returned to the restaurant with my wallet and show the waitress my membership.. oh ya.. and the complimentary cake as well. Half way enjoying the dinner, got a call from MIL saying that Sidney having fever and vomiting. Hubby quickly asked for the bill, gets our cake and rush home.

Although it’s a rushing dinner, forgetful wife and sick daughter at home, I will enjoy my birthday very much and I can still have many.. many.. many birthday to celebrate, rite!!

Complimentary cake from hotel

Flower from hubby

Missed her field trip

Sidney having fever for the last few days and she is getting better now. She supposed to go for her very first field trip yesterday but due to her sickness, she missed it. A bit of disappointment coz I really wanted her to go, so have to wait for next round of field trip.

Backdated: Sebastian's Birthday

A little backdated post about Sebastian, he celebrated his 6th birthday on 6th Mar. We just went for makan-makan with in-laws and bought cake for him to celebrate at school.

He grown up so fast and I realize that I’m getting old edi. :)

Cake he insisted to buy to celebrate at school same like last year

Another cake we bought to celebrate at in-law house

I'm back in one piece....

Wowwww…. It’s almost a month I did not touch my blog. I’ve been thinking whether I should stop blogging since my blogging bugs had gone missing, but I really em sey tak to leave my blogging world. So, decided to continue.

On CNY
What happened during CNY? Beside go visit relatives, giving and collecting angpaos, we went to KK for holiday. This is the first time we did not going back to Penang, so lesser angpao for this year, LOL!!

We stayed at Le Meridien at KK, besides shopping we went to visit Manukan Island and Wildlife Park only. Very relaxing trip and the kids enjoyed it so much.

On Valentine’s Day
We went out for simple dining nearby our housing area. It’s Thai’s food. Didn’t receive any flower or gift from hubby so do hubby, economy no good ma… so cut cost lor.. hehehe

On last weekend
We went to Sunway Lagoon together with mum, sis, BIL, SIL and the kids. The voucher I bought is going to expired this week, so quickly make a trip there. We spent almost a day at Sunway Lagoon from 10am till 5.30pm. Really worth it hor!! The kids played till don’t want to go home and all got tanned included me which every time I went hiding when the sun found me.

On Maid
Again??? Ya… again!!! This maid really a problematic maid, I should have send her off earlier but now too late. Her permit is going to expired this Sept so am not going to renew her again. She used hubby phone to call her boyfriend, her sister and dunno who else in Indonesia and the bill come to 1.2k.

Let me explain further, hubby phone normally put at TV cabinet and charging overnight without switch it off. This has been practice since we moved into this lil’ nest. It never happens to first maid. She is really smart and pretend to be dumb dumb like what Chinnee said. She know how to use phone and know how to call to Indonesia, all the calls she made is from 5am – 7am before we wake up. Each day at least 10 calls, each call lasted 20mins. Can you imagine!!! The first call she made was on 18 Oct, one month after she arrived at our lil’ nest. She went on making calls for the month of Nov, Dec and Jan. Feb statement is not here yet, so I presume her still making calls in Feb (we just found out last two weeks). Funny rite, how come hubby did not realize it coz the phone billed to company, thus we didn’t know about it until hubby’s account person called hubby and questioned him. LOL!! And his company so generous to pay the phone bill which each month cost around 600bucks!! If we knew early, I would have sack her. So, immediately I called my agent and told him about it. He came over on Saturday, and what he did before asking her question, he slapped her twice and she burst out. The agent immediate pulled her out while she is cleaning my room and threatens her to bring her to police station. So, agent told me that he will bring her back to his office and question cum counseling her. When she came back, she apologies to us and told us she won’t make mistake again. Since then, her soul is back to her, no more dreaming AT THE MOMENT. Till today, she did her work well at least a bit better then previous. Minus off the phone bill she owes us, she goes home with less than 2k. Worth it??

GONG XI FA CAI!!

Hi my friends,

Wishing you all MOOney MOOney flows in the year of MOO MOO year!!

GONG XI FAI CAI....

Today..

Today, after sending my kids to school and hubby to work, I became a delivery girl for a day and I’m willing to do it coz this is my first time I met them so I’m a bit nervous and my heart is pumping fast as if I’m meeting up my first love, LOL!!

This lady is very well known to all of you especially for bento lover, she is quite a established supplier of bento stuff, ya.. it’s Chooi Peng. This is my first time meeting her, we did not chat much coz I went there to collect my Pineapple Tart that I ordered from Miche. If I still remember, I think I only speak few word with her, ie. Hi, Thank you, Sorry to trouble you, Bye… ya… that it. Really paiseh ya, CP. Hope that we can have yum char session to talk more instead of these few words only. J

So, after collecting my thing from her, I proceed to second point where I would be meeting up another blogger mummy. She gave birth to twin baby boys and she is one of the supermom to me. Guess who?? Ya.. it’s Chinnee, really nice meeting you. You still look so sweet although you did not comb your hair, LOL! I tell you, her twin is really super cute, feel like wanna cubit them but don’t dare la… mummy is there watching. We had a nice chat together with her friend Audrey, really nice meeting you guys. Chinnee told me that today she will be baking, so I stayed a little longer doing KPC. After, she finished baking first round I’m about to go and I managed to take few of her cookies that she just baked. It’s really yummy!!

Thanks Chinnee for the cookies, also thanking CP’s colleague for bringing the tart all the way from Malacca and finally thanks Miche for the crunchy and extra ingredient of Pineapple Tarts, it’s yummilicious.

Sidney at school

Day 1
Wake them up and Sidney makes little fuss, she does not want to take shower. I pray so hard that she won’t make a big fuss in the school. When reaching the school, she still OK no crying and bring her to her class room. Her teacher greeted her and she started to cry, so I let go her and quickly walk out from the classroom, then the door closed. Still hear she crying and I take a peep on her, after few attempts of trying to console her, she finally stopped crying. Then I left and waited at in-law house. Seeing her get down from the school van happily and asked her whether she enjoying schooling or not. She nodded her head and said wanna go to school again. Oh ya… she came home without her panty coz she wet her panty, LOL!!

Day 2
She did not make a fuss but still refused to shower. She still happily walks to car and chatted non-stop with Sebastian till we reached school. She got down from the car and walks to school compound and takes out her shoe. By the time she goes into her classroom, she started to cry and asked me not to go. I told her I need to send daddy to work and will wait her at granny house. She still sobbing and do not want to let me go till the teacher came and console her again. I quickly sneak out when teacher talking to her and I take a peep on her before leaving the school. Her teacher switches on the CD and asked the kids to stand in front to dance and singing but I saw Sidney just stand still looking at the kids. Maybe she still feels awkward but she came home with happy face and wanted to go to school again. Luckily!

Day 3
So, today is my last of leave that I applied. Yup.. I applied three days to be with my girl incase she make a big fuss. Today, she happily wake up and tell me she want to shower, I’m so happy and praise her so in my mind I’m thinking that my girl must be very happy going to school and will stop crying. Reached her school, she take out her shoe and put on the rack, again refuse to go into her classroom. This time, she pulled my leg and do not want to let go and started to cry. Try to talk to her but failed so her teacher take over from there. I did not look at her and quickly walk out from the classroom. Sometimes really pity her, not even reach age 4 as she is year end baby, she has to go to school already. Hopefully by next week she will stop crying, must pray hard.

Refused me to take her photo... she walked out from our room

Her reluctant look at me taking her picture

Orientation Day

Yesterday and today was an orientation day for Sidney but Sidney did not go to school, coz I didn’t bring her to school. To me I find that the school arrangement on the orientation was so out of plan. On Mon and Tue was 5yo & 6yo orientation day and Wed and Thu was 3yo & 4yo orientation, then Fri no school. After that on Mon, all start schooling together. In order for me not to struggle twice as I really do not know how would Sidney react in school, so I decided to start her on next Mon.

I have a talked with her last few days for few times telling her that she will start school soon. She nodded her and happily brings out her uniform and school bag to show me. I hope that she really prepared herself to school next week and hopefully I’ll not be struggling.

And I’ve also reminded Sebastian to take care of her sister while taking school van. Pray that everything will go smooth sailing next week. Wish me luck!!!

I'm back... I'm tired, I'm upset and I'm going again...

I’m back from company incentives trip. Total of 38 people going in two VIP coaches and we headed to Singapore. So, this year I’m not celebrating Dong Zhi with family for the first time.

I’m tired as I walked too much when we were in Singapore. As you know, if follow series tour, we have to get up early and back to hotel at late night. Although this is series tour but overall, this is very enjoyable tour, we really have fun there. On the first day we reach Singapore, we check-in into the hotel, then we rush to a short shopping at Bugis, as it was just a walking distance from the hotel we stayed. Then we met for dinner. After dinner, we were ferry to Orchard Road for heaven shopping. It was Saturday and the whole Orchard was so crowded, everywhere is people. Then we make our own arrangement back to hotel; so I called her and meet up with her. Second day, we went o Sentosa Island for a half-day tour and then proceed to our office at Sentosa for a short presentation on the resort. After that we headed to Singapore Flyer, then Duwk tour and finally open top bus ride. The last day, after lunch we headed back to our homeland.

I’m upset becoz my son not missed me at all. The three days away from home, I did not receive a call from them and I did not call home too, expensive ma!!! :P

I’m going again to Singapore this Friday as this was planned earlier before I gotto know that the company is organizing a incentives trip to Singapore. So, I go there twice and spend twice and the exchange rates 2x higher than us. Everything double up hah…. LOL!!

Last but not least, my family and me here to wish everyone here Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Lack of confidence??

I realized that Sebastian lack of confidence when come to competition, the first competition he had was Taekwando competition held last month. It was OK when we were on the way to the venue and he himself looking forward for it too. When we reached the venue he still look happily until we stepped into the hall. He started to pull back and cried. I talked to him and console him then his teacher came and had a word with him too.

Then when come to his turn he do not want to stepped in and cried even the master and his friend console him and his teacher too go and get him vitagen to bribe him. It does not work, so I ran towards him and talk to him too and tell him that I’ll bring him to Mega Kidz if the stopped crying and go for the competition. I even told him you don’t have to win and I just want you to step in the fighting ring. I tried many methods to bribe him but it unsuccessful. So I gave up and told the teacher to disqualified him.

At that moment, I’m really disappointed not that he did not win, but he didn’t even go and try. The next day, we talked to him and asked him what is the reason he pull back, he told us that he scare and have lots people at that time, then hubby explains to Sebastian what does competition means and have a clear picture for him on the environment of the competition this and that. He nodded that he understand the terms of competition and promise that he will go ahead and won’t be scare anymore.

Then come to Piano competition last Saturday at his centre among the centre students only and closed door where few teachers as the judges and parents. They grouped into few groups and Sebastian was in second group and it’s consisted of 8 – 10 students. Again, we talked to him everyday and even the day before his competition for him to prepared. He looked happily and said to us he will understand and won’t scare. So, when we reached the centre that evening, he looks calm and ask lots of question, but when come to his turn where teacher ushers the students and parents to the room, he started to look nervous and can see tears in his eyes. Again, he pull back and told us he do not want to enter the competition. I can tell you at that moment, I am really angry and disappointed, I did not talk to him, I know I shouldn’t behave like that but I can’t control myself. I let hubby take over and I went out to take a deep breath.
Is he really lack of confidence but if really no confidence at all, he still performance perfectly during the concert time. What had made him act like this? I really have no idea and scratching my head now. Is there any classes to built up confidence or should I enter more and more competition for him to get rid of his fear inside him.

Sebastian's School Progress in Pre-2

Sebastian progress in Pre-2 getting slightly better and he did OK on his exam. He did very well on his Mandarin paper although is not 100% but I’m happy with the results he got. The poorest was Bahasa Melayu, his teacher mentioned he need to brush up his Bahasa Melayu. I know I have not put 100% effort on guiding or teaching him, so I told myself next year I really need to put extra effort on him if not, I’m afraid he can’t catch up when he is in Pri 1 the following year as we have registered him in Chinese School.

I heard a lot of comments on good and bad about Chinese School with loads of homework and pressure. I’m telling myself not to push as hard on him as I do not want him to get pressure on study at very young age.

His teacher commented on the progress report “Sebastian has a good learning attitude. He has shown responsibility through his neat work. He needs more practices and encouragement in Bahasa Melayu”.

So, this school holidays I bought few workbooks for him to do at granny house, I know school holidays he supposed to be enjoy and not to do all these, as I know he will be watching the idiot box from morning till we back in-law house to fetch them. So, I rather keep him busy in doing workbooks and at the same time he can practice BM.

School Holidays Programme

This year Holiday Programme organized by the kindi abit disappointment not much of activities as compared last year this and this. This time round they were brought to Angkasawan at Subang and Cosmo Theme Park at Time Square; the rest of activities was at school inclusive of swimming, art & craft and baking session.

This time round he brought back few doughnuts and left two for hubby and me. But we did not even touch it, aheemm… u know la from the look already one kind so i really don't dare to toucht it ended these two doughnuts wallop by Sebastian. It’s seems he like it so much… ^_<

Chut-chut~LESS

On last Saturday morning, when she wake up and walk toward me where I’m still half awake and told me “Mummy, I grown up already, I dunwan chut-chut (pacifier) anymore, I throw away OK”….. am I dreaming or what?? So, I’m not bother to ask or praise her, coz she changes her mind very quickly.

Day one past peacefully follows by day two and day three were at in-law house where MIL kept extra chut-chut incase she look for it. Then she saw the chut-chut, she asked MIL why is she still keeping it coz she don’t suck it anymore. She asked MIL to throw it away. My girl really grown up huh… she doesn’t suck chut chut anymore.

Until today, she is not looking for it and not even mentioned about it, it’s all come so naturally, we din even force her or use any tactic for her to get rid of it. Hope that she really grown up as she said, LOL!!!

Lunch Box

Finally I went and bought lunch box at 100yen shop last Saturday, so no more excuses for not start bento-ing. LOL!!